Journey to Journaling
Where to begin…
Journaling can feel like a daunting task. It can feel silly and awkward. When I first started journaling, I felt like I was forcing myself to make time to do something that my 13 year old self did as a hormonal outlet. I had no idea what to write or what format to write it in. I found myself slipping into my college brain, thinking more about how to make the perfect journal entry and less about how to assess my feelings. I’d start: “Dear diary”, no, “Hi Sav”, no that’s not right, “On a cold September evening”, ugh. On days that I could get past the salutation, I found myself unsure where to go next. Should I journal about the guy I was madly in love with or the annoying asshole I ran into at the supermarket check-out? Sometimes I would just write down: “feeling fine today, not much is new.”
Everyone shouted JOURNAL from the rooftops, but no one shouted THIS IS EXACTLY HOW! I became anxious and stressed about journaling. The whole processes started to feel like added pressure to my day, which is basically the exact opposite of how it was “supposed” to feel.
Now that I’ve been journaling for a few years, it’s easy for me to look back on that time and laugh at my foolishness. But the reality is that if I hadn’t pushed through those feelings, I would have stopped journaling and never gotten to the place I am now. So, I thought I’d share a few tips and tricks on how I like to journal. These are suggestions that have helped me in my journey to journaling, but it’s important to remember that there is no “right way” to journal, only your way!
Start small
Set aside two 20-minute time slots per week, less if that feels like a lot. This does not have to be an all-or-nothing kind of habit. In fact, it probably won’t become a habit if you’re forcing it on yourself. I encourage you to think of this as “Me Time: a moment to sit down and have a quick conversation with your brain.”
After about a month of journaling twice per week, take note of how you feel (write it down in your journal). Ask yourself if it would be too much to add another day to the mix. If the answer is no, then add one more 20-minute session the following week and see how you feel (again, take note of this feeling in your journal).
Some weeks I love waking up 20 minutes early and having my coffee in silence while I write in my journal before work. Other weeks I am completely sporadic and write in my journal whenever I have a few minutes in the day. And sometimes I take a minute to write in my journal right before bed. Do what feels right for you, but remember that, at the beginning, it might not feel “right” because you are actively trying something new. Give yourself permission to step outside your comfort zone.
Buy a journal that you WANT to write in
This might seem silly to some people, but for me it was a total game changer. Spending a little extra money on a journal that brought me joy every time I looked at it made me feel like I 1: did something just for myself and 2: wanted to treat my journal with respect and care. Try not to let it become the journal that you rip pages out of for your grocery list. Treat it like your favorite book and maintain it well.
#NOFILTER
When you open up to a new page of your journal there are truly no rules for what you put down in that page. Some people might want to write pages and pages, others want only a bullet pointed list. Whatever vibe suits you, run with it, and remember that it could change from day to day. It was always helpful for me to start by asking myself a few questions:
How am I feeling right now?
Was I anxious at all today?
Why might that have been?
Is there anything that happened in the past or something coming up in the future that is making me feel some sort of way?
Was I happy today?
What made me happy today?
As you answer each question, try as hard as you can to have absolutely NO FILTER. Let the thoughts and feelings flow out onto the page in the same way they are pinging from one side of your brain to the other.
On the days that the thoughts just cannot flow make a list. No one can avoid the centrifugal pull of a list. As soon as I start that first bullet point, there is no telling how long my list will be. This could be a list of different thoughts that pop into your head or it could be a list of positive affirmations. It could be a list of things you need to get done in the next week, or a list of goals you have for yourself this year. Again, there are no rules, just let your thoughts pour out! Example of a list of random thoughts:
I’m upset about BLANK
I don’t want to go to work tomorrow
I baked muffins this morning that I really liked so I will have to bake them again
My girlfriend has been watching tv all day and I do not know why that is bothering me so much
I have too much debt
Will I ever buy a car?
I really want a dog but when will I ever be able to get one
I should really FaceTime my family
God, the travel bug has bit me, and I cannot shake it
COVID.
When will COVID be over
I’m so nervous that my friends don’t like me anymore
Have I spent too much time with my boyfriend
I should probably journal more, but when will I find the time
I love my new haircut
Say goodbye to grammar
Remember, this journal is for your eyes and your eyes only. You are not writing something that will go onto be published in a decade from now (and if you are then DAMN, good for you!). It is okay for this to be “scatterbrained”, it’s okay to not use commas, it’s okay to have a run-on sentence, it’s okay to spell every other word wrong, it’s okay for your handwriting to be basically illegible to anyone other than you. Sometimes one sentence in my journal can run on for pages and other times my journal is ready for me to read it as the keynote speaker for the Harvard class of 2024. IT. IS. O. K.
Set yourself up for success
This does not need to happen right away, but at some point, in your journey to journaling you should make a point to make your journal time feel as good a moment in your day as possible. Take note of what kind of environment brings you joy and try to replicate that during your journal time. My example: I know I love peace and quiet, I know I love the morning, my morning cup of coffee or matcha brings me so much joy, I love the morning light. So, I choose to get up a little early, before anyone in my house and journal with my cup of coffee. Not only that but I make a point to sit right by the window in our apartment that lets in the most morning light. I also react very well to essential oils, so sometimes I even light my lavender candle while I journal. Other examples could be journaling in the bathtub or in your comfy bed right after its been made or in your car where you can actually be alone. Find this little bit of happiness in alone-time and create an environment for yourself. The most important take away, though, is that this created environment should not be so elaborate that it deters you from journaling, and you do not have to do this every time. I’ll probably set myself up for a cozy environment one out of every five times I journal (but remember, I journal almost every day of the week).
Sign off and do not set length expectations
I have no idea why this makes me feel so good, but for some reason adding a signature at the end of each of my journals makes me feel like I have completed a task; I’ve dumped my brain somewhere and I can officially leave it. Might just be too many years of watching Gossip Girl, but I would recommend.
Never set length expectations when you open up for a journal entry. Let yourself write as much or as little as you are feeling. Sometimes my entries are seven pages and include lists and bullets and CAPS and underlines and drawings, other days I write three sentences, and some days I write four different entries each including a few feelings / thoughts. It really doesn’t matter what I do though, the point is that journaling should feel like the one place where your brain and body can let go of societal expectations and just GET. IT. OUT.
After I journal, I always take a moment to close my eyes and take two deep belly breaths before getting back to my day. It’s the way I give my body permission to let go of everything I just wrote down and put it behind me. After doing this for a few months, I was shocked at how my body started to use journaling as a release. It’s like I just vented to the world and the world responded “thanks, noted, go ahead and move on with your day, I’ll take care of that stuff.” Give it a try, and remember: you are a work in progress.